Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood ...

I have been clear headed for a week now(Yes!) And that for me means having a life... this is what life looks like;
Working , getting ready for my day the adrenaline starts to flow. By the time I am working it is humming through me. Touching people with all this out pouring of love, my senses fairly sing with the energy! It sustains me through my day. More it carries me! And then it's over... 5 minutes after my last client, wham, I am exhausted. Before chemo two major thing where different, one, as much as I have always felt loved it is more open now. Second I had more personal energy to sustain me. So working now is particularly more intense... It is where I feel most like me...
Then on working days after, well, I am profoundly tired. What little I do is an effort. Taking the Neuprygon shot at night is pain inducing so I have found taking a pain reliever before sleep gets me through most of the night...oh and I cry at the drop of a hat(annoying)!
Day off (no dr appointment no chemo), first I have to gauge how I feel(that changes) and takes a while. reading Facebook and emails slowly building my energy, figuring out what I need/want to get done. Now I haven't had many of these yet and over did both times! So clearly something I need to work out...
Day off with Dr appointments/chemo/blood draws, I seem to do okay mostly because I have someone(helpful) with me. She energizes me but not to the point of over stimulating. A nice balance...
the rest of this week...
Wednesday is filled with doctor appointments, blood draws, support group and mom. Right now it feels like a lot but I feel better than I have also...
Thursday, house cleaning...
Friday chemo...and the merry go round begins again. I don't know if it will be different next set....and through all of this at the end of the day there is Kelly. He endures my pain, my emotions, my tears, my insanity, my inability to be in public, my crazy. He doesn't go to bed because I can't right now(lying flat is hard). No matter how much I ask him too he wants to be close in case I need something...he's learning too, that my crying is something that can't be fixed, its okay...and other things too...my mom who I call and vent to, cry to, hold when I can and just lets me...
So how can I be less than strong or brave or any of the adjectives that people tell me I am when this is what my life is! I am surrounded by, immersed in Love...