Finally an amount of normal

I woke,I was hungry,I took a shower, talked to the dogs...oh I feel real! Like a person! As my day moves on still good! Yes! I am a real girl again!

Work...hmmm...Work...help?!?

Work is so many things to me that this last week has been very scary! To think oh I am fine then BAM! Cold sweats, lose focus, concentration, not good... Tomorrow I have. " help " the better part of the day...how will they play out? So tired ... I wish I had better answers :-)

Galavanting...

So one of my many night time forays to the bathroom. There is a sky light so I don't turn on the light/fan (do noisy) but I have slept great 5hours! It's urgent! I walk in turn around sit down and BAM! My feet are out from under me! SMASH! (What is that?) WOOSH (What is that???) Water?!? ...Oh no...the toilet tank busted in half! Now I have to pee, large amount of water is running, I have to stop it, still have to pee! No lights, outstanding!!! And no one heard it...got it...Okay get Kelly (stop&pee first) what a morning!

Heavily medicated! But sleeping....kinda

For those of you that know me, my aversion to mind altering substances is very high. In truth I have figured out it has to do with dependence among other things. So taking something for the night pain was hard for me. Having said that, after talking to the Doctor about that issue she said we will deal with that if needed on the other side. So I swallowed my fear and a pill! And I slept...practically pain free! 3 days now...

Not my shoulder?!?!

Went to physical therapy and she did all these test...conclusion...mostly not my shoulder! It is my neck! Wow! So exercises for my neck and posture. Check my pillow... massage for my scar and cording....she was amazing! So I am going to try theses things and see her back next week.... I know it will take some time , but I am hopeful!

Officially the worst! Yes I know I thought that was yesterday!

Slept all day Saturday...tried work Sunday, that was a bust(had to call my clients) weak, shaky, tired. Actually very scary! My husband drove me to my mom's last night(apparently it makes him feel better)...today had to reschedule my clients again(which means more days in the salon) ...So one of moms friends is going to drive me in for IV fluids and evaluate me. Kelly will pick me up...I officially hate this part.

P.S. had my feet above my heart for days now and I no longer look like a balloon! So that's good:-)

The worst day ever...

So I just had to cancel my day... I am sorry, I am shaky and weak and tired...this is bad...Kelly has come to get me. I will go and sleep and hope to be better tomorrow

Taxel...and 12hrs later I was home

Not exaggerating...so I was not allergic... the problem came on when they turned out all up...pain...so off until it subsides...then on again...that is how it went...I am sure I will be getting a call Monday about it...came home went to bed and just woke(potty break). Now back to sleep.

What a Day!

Today at 6 am I was on my way too emergency(twice in one week) but not for me this time...my poor exhausted husband awoke not being able to breath! Gratefully, it wasn't a great attack or anything pulmonary they could find. High blood pressure, but we left not knowing the cause...we slept a good portion of the day.then dinner at Cartlandia!( You really MUST do that!) Then a dog park for the boys(it's been so long since I have felt good enough to do that) then home I just got done cleaning in the kitchen. I am going to bed on bed! Tomorrow is my first taxel woo hoo!

Hi world! Or day 12 !

This has been a lovely day! Morning doc appointment (all on track which is good!), then chiropractor, then meet up for tea with a friend(wish my taste buds were working better!). Then home! Drifting off as I write this so more tired than I thought...must nap...zzz...

With the morning sun come relief...

Throwing every thing at it...heat packs, hydrocodone, adivan, cold packs. I finally get a margin of sleep in my chair, pillows like packing around me...and as always with the morning comes relief...not pain free, but no where near the horror story that is my night... thankful for now that it's day time...sad I can't have my Aleve....get and get Ready for work! :-)

And then there was pain!!!!

Easily the worst thing about the day is the night...pain starts escalating about 10 minutes after I stop working...just don't know what to do...I had an xray today, I'm hoping something conclusive comes from that...should I call them again? what are they going to do? I'm going to go take another shower seems the only way that I can get relief...

A bed is a wonderful thing!

I know it sounds silly! But because of side effects from chemo. And now I know about the blood clots, I haven't been able to lie flat(in bed) for a couple months. So Kelly getting tired of sleeping alone and me tired of the recliner. Kelly made an incline for my side of the bed!(sleep number) so as I am about to slumber in bed! I know he will have to make adjustments but I will forever appreciate a bed....

Side note; yes I know I am a big girl...

My only and I mean only unpleasant interaction was today... a doctor that was really condescending and bigoted about big people. Wow, it has been a long time since I someone assumed "because of my size"  (no offense intended his words) this was probably why this happened. Really?!? Not that is a fairly common side effect OF CHEMO!!! Seriously!?! Yes, I wish I could exercise more and yes I would like to be smaller. But, wow... I could actually really rant but I will just continue forward and be healthy when this is all over...

While away the hours or fighting boredom

Hospitals are funny. People want to be nice and helpful, but there is only so much they can do....so I am board...there is only do many times to walk the halls, I did watch 4 children's movies!

Biohazard!

So I am in the hospital, not sure if they are keeping me but it looks like it... I have blood clots in my lungs! Who knew! Well I will say more when I know more...
Update: overnighting in the hospital...watching me....oh well

It's all VERY odd! Or 101 post and me who hates to journal!

I just saw that my last post was #100! How is that even possible??? I am a talker not a writer!...so I thought...I know it is more like blurbs than actual journaling thought...mind snap shots!!! I really should be more complete....So here goes...I am half way though chemo! Yay! I think I have tolerated it all pretty well. Food the last 2 times had been my biggest issue(everything taste weird!) That sucks, but is really in the skeam of things not a big deal...Friday chemo has worked great for working...Wednesday is by far my worst day! But again, I just take it slow and push through...Chemo brain, I am definitely not sweating the small stuff! Feeling very much at peace, which translates to(sometimes) I am just trying to get through over here in my world. can really be bothered with yours?! ? Not my MO... it's all very different for me and who know how I will feel on the other end of all this...hugs & love

Strange dreams...strange reality...

I have always had strange dreams. Honestly when they said that was a side effect I was like...oh...so that I have had these oddly vivid dreams, not so big of deal other than how very real they feel until I wake up! Very strange! Mostly funny that I would ever feel that they are real. But somehow they always get me! Then it's awaking to real life... so there is an oddity for the collection...sweet dreams!

Bigger issues than just me...

This is what I posted on my Facebook this morning...
This issue is so sad and not to be summed up and a ribbon put on it so easily. having said that. Why do we not look deeper not at the day it is happening and the weapon of choice, but what has brought us here! People please open your eyes! We are raising our children in a society that glorifies. Extremely violent, make believe behavior! What are our critically acclaimed television shows now?!? They are about drug dealers/makers, and gangs so violent that in "real life" you would never want these people around your children! And video games that look real! That blood spurts and you get extra points for the more killing that is done the more mayhem And we expect/believe our children understand it is not real! Parents are setting their children at younger and younger ages in front of the screens of various devices and when the conversations get difficult let them view play whatever they want! And for children that are already, hard to handle, not well socialized, or have diagnosed and or undiagnosed mental health issues. This combination is becoming more and more lethal! Why are we going straight to gun control? Why is it so taboo now to ask why not parent control?

Hard day...made better by nice people!

I don't know if it's because my blood numbers started low this time or if I just have over did this weekend, but last night was awful! Hot flashes and chills all night! Today hard...but I have such lovely people coming to see me! I won't say I am totally invigorated, but I feel involved and engaged and happy to have been out and part of the day! So thank YOU! I as always am grateful to my clients for being in my life and sharing yours with me!

The good, the bad and the ugly

So my day started early, it was nice (other than the slimy taste) then Work was also nice, a little slow. But nice! Then the gas ran out. My chemo hit like(Remember me I am the chemo you had Friday) tired, half nausea, slimy taste...so going to sleep now.

Giving today a 9 because well I am just that tough!

Today was amazing! First I was given the opportunity to help someone on her cancer journey. We videotaped it soo as soon as I can figure that out she gave me permission to put it up here (sweet girl)... then off to one of my very favorite teens graduation! Included some of my VERY very favorite people EVER!!! We had such a good time!!! Really I am so blessed...

Where am I !?! Or ooh yes Chemo day...

I had really early chemo today... last of this round! Next time its all new! so when I got done I felt pretty good. Cyndi took me a couple places we both got stuff done. Then bam! I needed lights out! I just woke up and got like 2 or 3 minutes couldn't figure out where I was, when it was, or how I got there/here ... nuts!!! :-)

Good day Sun shine...Good Day Sunshine!!!

Lazy girl slept in awoke pain free!!! Lazy girl played games did dishes and laid in the back yard watching the dogs play...oh I am a lazy girl...Ya don't care...tomorrow I will be industrious!...but not today :-)

Way to long of day...

Let me first say, I love what I do and my clients! But there is a reason I went to a 7 hour day...as I Swype with my right thumb resting my phone on the back of my left hand...10 hours is to many on chemo... staying to think 10 hours is to much period. Remember my lessons...going to manage my pain and then sleep

This time is a charm!

This round has been easier than the rest so far not normal but I can move! Getting things done ... 1 more ac Friday, then on to taxol(sp) can you believe it's June first!?!? Hope you are having a great day too!!!