Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone has a glorious day! I have much to be thankful for this year. ..not the least of which is my life... I am thankful for all of those who stayed with me this year. ..I am thankful for the relationships that become closer this year... the wonderful doctors, nurses and staff at Kaiser Sunnyside & Interstate. My mother and husband for putting up with me. After a full day of being good to everyone I don't always have much left for them... this is my last post in this blog! As my cancer journey is done! I have one more surgery to take out my ovaries and of course follow-up appointments. But for all intent and purpose I am done! !!! Thank you Hugs&love Lois

So this is it. .. or the End

Anticlimactic. .. I feel like I should feel something! I am kind of numb... last radiation therapy and like the treatment itself I feel nothing... everyone was so nice. .. they sing a goodbye song! They gave me "a certificate" commemorating the accomplishment. .. I should be thrilled!  ... right? ... off to work now...

Seriously peeling!

Okay... unexpected side effect of radiation ... my skin is peeling! !! Like a bad sunburn. ..yuck

How my head works... or...and crazy is my name oh!

So last week I was destroyed! I had hit a wall. ..I saw women that I had met this spring that are now not doing well and others I didn't know but had the same cancer I did, that aren't doing well. ..it hit me like bang! !! I am so very fortunate!  Then. .. why am I so fortunate? !? Then. ... is it right to be okay? ?? Working on trying to be healthy? ?? Surviving guilt??? I thought I was handling everything really pretty well,  then I turn into a slush bucket! Crying!  Oh yes the crying. .. how can I get a handle on that? ?? For the record I feel better all the time!  Not 100% but better😊 I have been informed it takes 5 years to be a survivor!  So why do I feel that they cut it out... it's all gone!!! Am I afraid? ?? Am I deluding myself? ??  Goodness! I usually know my own brain. .. confusion. ..not my favorite... so where does that leave me? Crazy...

1 week left! And they call it boost!

So this last week of radiation is boost. .. only the lumpectomy area will be getting irradiated.... the last will be a surgery,  I am having my ovaries out the end of December!  So I am going full tilt through the holidays.  I will be having surgery 12/29 then out 2 weeks.  That's it!

Same S*#t different day... or radiation and other daily duties!

I really haven't known how to talk about last week so I haven't put it into words. .. so here it is. .. I hit a wall last week.  Many things came together and the house of cards that is my mental stability came crashing down. .. was it real? ?? Can't answer that.  In my head yes.  Kelly says "why when this is almost done are you doing this? " I could not tell you. .. but last week I became an emotional cripple. I wanted nothing more than to find a beach!!! So far this week feels better. ...

Hard day

I didn't sleep well last night. .. my breast in its healing process, all the nerves firing!  Ouch! Compounded tired. ...I have no idea how I am going to get through today ...  so many have it so much worse, I should not complain...I will check in later😊

I am getting nothing done!

So here's my challenge.  I am good in the early day. Now that doesn't sound like a challenge, but I swim, a hike or work.  then without warning I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open...I just want to be normal again. .. there is no answer, it is what it is... I have things to do and no more energy to do it... I am disappointing myself and others... that is my challenge... as much as I hear it is no big deal or to give myself a break. It doesn't matter because I am not meeting the needs I always have... how is that okay??? Life, it is not enough to be here... Life, is more... it is all the mundane things! I will get it back, but will I lose myself before I am well??? I don't know. ..

The wonders of water

Swimming. .. hot tub... rinse repeat! I really am a water baby... funny how lovely,  calming,  and just plain good it makes me feel!  Today a small how with the boys. And that was also a great time they both (yes Stripe too) listened. every command! They are 2 now so maybe I that is part of it, but it was the very first time that they both (while having fun) still listened! Outstanding!
No call today ,so tomorrow if I don't hear anything I will be calling them.  I need to get this surgery scheduled. .. well sleep calls ...

Week 4 almost over... or ...

So at 4 weeks into radiation my breast looks good...  I am tired but nothing like chemo... Swimming after radiation each day (which feels amazing! )... then work some days busy some days slow...
I have to have surgery in December ( have I said that already? ) anyways having my ovaries out... No date yet...